An Introduction to Unique Adoptions
Adoption is a situation that brings families together with a focus on love and care. There are many individuals who are involved in making it a success, and if they can work through a single point of contact, then the process is made much easier.
That’s what we do at Unique Adoptions. We have a caring and respectful team that provides a dependable and professional service to all parties involved. Our personal approach means we get to know everyone in the adoption and give them specialized and ongoing support throughout the process.
No one gets lost along the way in our services, as they might at large agencies. We are a nationwide adoption facilitator that lives up to the meaning of facilitate. We help bring about an outcome; in this case, a successful adoption. Our team works with birthmothers and adoptive parents to create new and happy families.
We have a great deal of experience in creating new families. Whether you are a birthmother looking for a loving home for your infant or a family looking to grow and share the love you have to give, we can help.
Our team is bonded in the State of California and has nationwide adoption facilitator skills that you can call on to help you through an adoption anywhere in the country.
Steps for a Successful Adoption Process
When you set out on the adoption journey, it’s an exciting time as you wait to add a new member to your family. The steps along the way can’t be rushed, but the process is made smoother and easier to understand by working with an adoption facilitator like the team at Unique Adoptions.
Once you’ve decided the time is right for you to adopt a child, you need to consider what type of adoption is best for your family. Are you going to adopt an infant, adopt a child from foster care, or pursue an international adoption?
At Unique Adoptions, we are an adoption facilitator that provides service throughout the U.S., and we work hand-in-hand with licensed adoption agencies worldwide. We offer this blog post to give you an idea of the steps that are encountered along the way to adopting a child.
Once you’ve settled on the type of adoption that best suits you, it’s time to complete a home study, which includes paperwork, obtaining clearances, and in-person interviews. Then, you wait for a referral that matches you with a birthmother if that is the route you’ve chosen. If you adopt from foster care, you are in contact with the child during the process, but still have to wait to go through the steps up to placement.
Once you welcome the newest addition to your family, go slowly, as the adjustment curve is a steep one. Slow and steady wins the race.
Who Holds the Power in Adoption: Birth Mothers or Adoptive Parents?
The relationship between birth mothers and adoptive parents is complicated for many reasons. One factor is the tension in the power dynamics at play. Adoptive parents sometimes feel like the expectant parents “hold all the cards” before the adoption. An adoption facilitator is sometimes helpful at this stage as a buffer, providing a communication conduit between the two parties. But after the adoption is formalized, the power balance shifts in favor of the adoptive parents, with birth mothers often acutely and painfully aware of their lack of power. Emotions run high, and the adoption facilitator is no longer in the picture. This imbalance of power adds a layer of complication to an already complex relationship.
Fear of Being Judged
Often, birth mothers feel some understandable insecurity and worry about being judged. They end up walking on eggshells, feeling that they have to be as close to perfect as possible or adoptive parents won’t let them be in their children’s lives after the adoption facilitator is gone.
The fear of being judged can become a self-fulfilling prophecy — a loop the adoptive parents/birth parent relationship cannot break. If birth mothers are open with their child’s adoptive parents about how they feel, it may be positive for the relationship. Ideally, if adoptive parents listen to these fears with empathy and understanding, the relationship may grow and improve over time.
Four Tried and True Tips for a Smooth Transition Home with Adopted Kids
It is often true that the first few months with newly adopted children can be a challenge for both the child and the family as a whole. For those considering adoption, this can be the largest initial concern. Take heart. There are several tips for easing the transition to your home for newly adopted older children.
If you are considering adoption, here are a few tips to consider, which may help ease your worries about the transition process when adopting an older child.
Take it Slow
Taking it slow can be tricky with international adoptions, but try to slow down wherever possible. Start visitations in the child’s foster home or orphanage, and then move visitations to a neutral space, such as a park. Spend time getting to know your new child. Finally, move visitations to your home.
Ask Questions About Her or His Past
If you’re considering adoption, what questions would you want to know about your potential new child? Read the child’s complete file; not just the summary. Obtain as much information as possible on the child’s past life. Learn as much as you can.
Do Some Investigation
Talk with the orphanage or the foster family and ask questions about routines, likes, dislikes, etc. If you are traveling abroad to pick up your child, consider stocking up on her favorite food to bring home.
Set your expectations very low concerning the first couple of months. A great day is just one where everyone gets fed and survives. Things will improve as everyone settles in and acclimates.
Facing Your Fears During the Adoption Process
Adding a new member to your family is very exciting. Along with that excitement, there are often many concerns and worries. Questions and fears may arise from the unknown. That is completely understandable, and it’s natural to feel that way. At Unique Adoptions, we’ve helped many, many families through the process as a nationwide adoption facilitator, and we’re going to provide advice on facing your fears at this time.
The first thing you need to remember that will give you strength is you are not alone. You have support and resources, such as our team, you can call upon. Sure, you may be worried about being up to the task of becoming a parent, but that’s the norm for anyone in any situation. It’s a wonderfully positive, life-changing event, but it’s also a very major one. Remember that you can and will adapt, and before long, it will be the most natural thing in the world for you.
Confront your fears head-on. Learn as much as you can on the issues you are worried about, and that will give you the confidence to move forward with the tools you need. For example, some children may have health issues, but if you reach out to a nationwide adoption facilitator for assistance, you will have the skills and knowledge that will help you cope.
It’s natural to be afraid; but remember, you’re not alone.
5 Practical Tips for Healthy Open Adoption Relationships
The key to a positive adoption experience is what’s best for the child. With that in mind, at Unique Adoptions, we would like to tell you that open adoptions have been shown by research to be beneficial for the child.
These types of adoptions are now the norm in the US, with interactions between the birth family and adoptive family ranging from in-person visits to an exchange of photos and letters through a third-party. We are going to provide five tips here that will help you navigate the waters of open adoptions.
- Keep the child front and center because they are the entire reason you’re doing this.
- Take advantage of resources, such as education and counseling. It will help you calm any fears you may have about keeping the birth family as part of your child’s life.
- Discuss with the birth family what level of openness you want and what they want. An adoption facilitator can help you with these discussions so you can find common ground.
- Strive to create a healthy, respectful relationship with the birth family.
- Look for assistance and support when you need it to handle conflicts or feelings of anger toward the birth family.
This is an unusual experience for everyone involved, but with patience and professional support, you can make your way through it successfully.
Dealing with the Unknowns in Adoptive Parenting
Adoption is a pathway to joy for countless parents around the world. It can also be a journey full of unknowns and unexpected challenges. Like any parent, you’ll find yourself out of your depth and without a plan in many situations, and you’ll need the right mindset to make the best choices for yourself and your new child. Your adoption facilitator can help with many issues, and a few key tips help you be prepared to deal with the unfamiliar.
Focus on What You Know — If you’ve had kids before, you already have lessons you have learned from. If not, you’ve certainly gone through intensive training as part of the adoption process. Use the skills and resources available to you when you need them, and understand your kids as people.
Communicate — If you’re feeling uncertain, your child is definitely lost. It’s okay to go through it together. The more you talk and connect, the easier it is to navigate the best path forward for everyone involved.
Get Backup — Remember that adoption facilitator? The organization you work with likely has many resources and advice for new parents. Likewise, nonprofits and state agencies offer an abundance of information and assistance when you feel like you need a little help.
Coping with the Emotional Turmoil of Giving up a Baby for Adoption
For parents who aren’t ready or in the right place to have a child, giving it up for adoption is one of the bravest and most selfless acts in the world. Even so, it often comes with an emotional toll that isn’t easy to cope with on your own. When you need advice, compassion, or just a place to share your experience free from judgment, a birthmothers’ support group can help.
These collectives provide a platform and community for women experiencing the complex intersections of responsibility, loss, and connection that come with the adoption process. They can be a source of support and validation, as well as a tether to others that understand the things you feel on a personal level.
If you’ve never been part of a birthmothers’ support group, joining one might sound intimidating. Fortunately, the facilitators specialize in making new faces feel welcome. Most importantly, you’re among people who recognize the awesome responsibility of making tough choices like yours. That alone can help you heal, find peace, and move forward confidently to live your best life. It’s an opportunity that you’ve sacrificed to provide for a child. The next step is giving yourself the same chance to flourish with the right support.